We all want to be great parents. You love your child, and you want your child to be happy. We do not always think about what we say to our children. Some words can be very hurtful. There are some things that you should never say to your adopted child.
I Can Share Your Story
Every adoption creates a new family. Your child has a unique story, and you want to tell everyone about the newest member of your family. The details regarding your child’s adoption are part of her story. The world does not need to know about your child’s history before the adoption. Most parents have a tendency to overshare everything about their kids. Let your child decide how much she wants to share about her life. Some adoptees want to let their friends know about their adoption. If your child does not want you to overshare, stop talking about the adoption with everyone. Consider your child’s emotions before you talk about their adoption. Your child does not want you to be the spokesperson for adoption. The story belongs to your adopted child. You do not have to be a walking public service announcement for adoption. Your child will know that your actions speak louder than your words.
You Do Not Appreciate Anything
Your biological children would not appreciate everything that you do for them. You should not expect gratitude from your adopted child. Your child wants to be treated like a regular kid. Your child will need emotional support from you. There will be some days where your child will say thank you for some things. You should not get upset when your child does not thank you for your kindness. Your child’s actions will speak louder than her words. Most adoptees did not ask to be adopted. You asked for your child, and you owe your child a great childhood. You might hurt your child’s feelings if you ask her to be grateful.
We Cannot Talk About Your Birth Family
If your child wants to know more about their biological family, let her search for answers. Your child has always been a whole person. Some adoptees never look for their birth family. However, many adoptees want to know more about their birth parents. Neither adoptee is wrong in this situation. You should always think about safety. Nevertheless, do not let your emotions control your decisions. Your child will always see you as their parent. Let your child decide their own opinions. Your child might argue with you if you refuse to acknowledge their birth family.
Your child needs you for everything. Be mindful of your emotions, and you will make the right decisions for your family. Your adopted child will always be your child, and you will always be a very special person in their life. There are many resources available for you and your child. To learn more about being a great parent to your adopted child, contact us.